Center Stage
by Simplyreal
Summary: Stiles has a eating disorder and depression, will this new man in his life be able to lift him out of it or will it push him further down? Derek Hale, Captain of the Varsity Hockey Team runs into this hipster ballet dancer one day and cant get him out of his mind? Rated M because i see smut in the near future
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, uhm are you okay in there, do you need anything? Like someone to get you a paper towel or help you clean that mess you made? I'm sure i can find someone that will be willing to" Lydia says as she is walking into the bathroom, the mens bathroom...She hears someone throwing up and gets nervous and what's to make sure the person is okay, out of character a bit you would think, but she has her moments. She hears the toilet flush and a very familiar man walks out of the larger stall, the one that is handicap accessible , "Stiles, are you feeling ill?"

"Just a tad under the weather, thats all" He brushes off her concern trying to act nonchalant as if it was normal to be throwing up in the mens bathroom before practice. "oh, okay then love, just wanted to see, are you sure you are up to class? Madame Lilly works us to death right before the recital, and we do not need our leading man falling ill on us, Jackson is no way near ready to take the lead, you know, i think the twat is only here to see girls in tights, i mean he looks absolutely drop dead sexy in his black tights and all, so im not really going to complain or anything, but hes such a perv, i see him eyeing all of these girls here, and theyre lucky i don't rip out their hair, ugh" she says as she's checking her makeup and fixing her hair in the boys bathroom, she pushes up her breasts kissed her lips winks in the mirror that she sees stiles in, "come on babe" she says teasingly "we're off" she says as they walk out of the mens room with their arms intertwined. As stiles and Lydia walk into the room, Mme. Lilly is there, waiting for them, with a very angry esque face, a scowl that looks as if it was her natural facial expression.

"Did someone die on you way to class dearies? Because if not you pack your bags and get the hell out of my classroom, i DO NOT accept or tolerate tardiness whatsoever. Good day Stiles, Lydia honey please show him and yourself the door" She turns and faces the class and resumes with her warm ups. "Bras Bras ladies, gents just warm up" She says. "Im going to strangle you Stiles, i can't believe i try and do something fucking nice and my ass is now kicked out of class, thats why i only look out for myself!" Lydia says harshly as shes throwing her pointe shoes into her bag hastily. "Whatever Lyd, i could care less what you think"

Stiles whips back at her, grabs his bag and casually walks to his Jeep, he unlocks it and jumps in, startes it and backs out very fast, not looking where he's going. He drives down the road to the nearest Starbucks, he pulls in parks and walks in the front door. " What can i get for you today Stiles" the barista asks with a flirty tone to his voice,.Stiles chuckles, looks up takes off his turquoise ray bans places his hands on the counter " Uhmm, lemme get a , Strawbe...nononoo lemme have a Venti Iced Soy Caramel Macchiato, extra caramel, and an extra shot of espresso." "Okay, that's going to be on the house today" the barista smirks Stiles throws his Ray Bans on walks down to the other end of the coffee shop grabs his iced drink and heads home.

As sterek pulls into his driveway, he sees his father walking out the door, shutting it, he waves to Stiles as he enters his police cruiser, "hey later kiddo, i left some money on the counter for pizza or whatever you want" "Thank ya sir!" Stiles says as he passes his fathers car and walks to the front door, he opens it, walks into the kitchen throws his starbucks cup into the trash underneath the sink. He shuts the cabinet and walks up the stairs into his bedroom, pulls of his star wars v-neck off throws it at the hamper, and misses from 5 feet away, opens the bathroom door walks over to the toilet and kneels down, shoving his finger into his throat forcing himself to throw up, and until he does, he he sticks his right index finger farther and farther down his throat until he does indeed throw up his starbucks coffee, you see the problem with having no gag reflex is it takes Stiles a while to indeed throw up. He gets up, walks to the faucet, washes his face with a warm towel, brushes his teeth, turns to his side looking into the mirror, grabs his stomach and looks at his reflection in the mirror, scowls and gets angry, " im so fucking fat" he thinks aloud. " How am i going to keep the lead in this year's recital if i keep gaining weight!" he walks out of the bathroom to his nightstand, opens the second drawer down and grabs his tape measure, "raps it around his tiny waist, "30 inches!, This can't be happening, i am the same size" he throws the tape measure back into the drawer, he throws himself onto his bed and shuts his eyes, as he drifts off to sleep, he has school in the morning, and he doesn't want to risk ordering that pizza, so he forces himself to sleep.

As the morning sun rises, Derek throws his pillow at the window, the bright yellow mixed with a caramel orange sky is pouring into his room and he doesn't want to get up just yet, he has to be at school for 6:45 to make sure he can get his morning workout in. The clock alarm goes off, and it starts to play This Too Shall Pass by Ok Go , he hits the off button, he sits up, throws his hairy legs off the bed, he stretches and yawns, throws his hands up in the air, like a lazy old sour wolf he is. He gets up, walks over to his dresser, opens it, grabs the cleanest looking pair of Calvins he can find, he settles on a pair of swin trunk style with a silver thick band, bright pink, he smiles as he looks at himself in the mirror, and throws on a pair of dark jeans and a black John Varvatos V-neck sprays some diesel cologne and walks to his car, throws the key in the ignition, and Brick by Brick by the Arctic Monkeys comes on, he throws on a pair of ray ban aviators he grabs from the glove compartment, and starts driving to the high school. He gets there in no time, pulls into his usual parking spot, but he he sees something out of the ordinary, a tall, slender male, getting out of his jeep, wearing a pair of lightly colored cut off jean shorts, a blue and white baby tank, wearing a pair of red ray bans, walking towards the outside locker room,

Derek, being curious, carefully walks and follows this guy that he has never seen before, he walks into the locker room and hides behind a divider, he sees the young boy changed into a pair of red basketball shorts, and now a white baby tank and throws in his headphones and walks right by him giving him the slightest of eye contact, deek can hear his music, "Skrillex" he thinks he then changes and heads to the ice rink locker room, stripes naked, throws on his jock strap, fixing the cup so its nestled just right against his rather large cock, then goes his shorts, followed by his shin guards, first the left, then the right, then he places his black and white striped socks on, pulls up his pants, pulls out his right Graf Ultra G35 then the left, pulls them very tight, so tight you would think his circulation was cutoff, but thats how he prefers it, also he goes barefoot. Next comes, shoulder pads, and elbow pads, finally followed by his practice jersey, color: Blue, symbolising first line. he walks to the door, grabbing his baby, his Warrior Evo Grip composite stick, its his new favorite and when he saw it on , he just had to have it. He walked into the ice rink, still foggy, ice cold, he can see his breath as he huffed out a large breath, he opens the door, and as his skates touch the ice, its as if he were home, he started to gain speed, he's gaining it rather fast , the thrill of the adrenaline rush hes getting, he goes faster and faster, he starts to work on his edges, first inside, then outside, then backwards he goes. faster and faster, looking where he's going in the reflection of the tall freshly cleaned glass. he skates to the bench, grabs a bucket of pucks, throws 10 out of the bucket, lines them up on the blue line, and started shooting, one after another finally around 7:30 the rest of the team hits the ice, the coach, skating over to talk to his star player.

"Red line guys, line up, we're going to do some sprints to start off with" The day goes by rather slow for Stiles, He's sitting in chemistry, trying to talk to Danny, but Danny's just not having it, he's trying to pay attention and take notes. Stiles on the other hand, is sitting there. tapping his pen, "STILES I WILL SHOVE THAT PEN SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T CUT IT OUT!" Danny yelled,. "Daniel, principal's office right now!" "whatever"

The bell rings incessantly, and loud, and its 5th block, Stiles heads to the cafe, he meets up with Lydia, they sit down and Scott Jackson and Danny pop a squat, they talk and chit chat, "Hey, Stiles where are you going?" Lydia asks, "Oh Just to my locker i have to get my history book before last block, i need it and want to be ready so right after class i can get to practice on time so Mme. Lilly doesn't murder me! ahha" Stiles responds. "See you later doll " Lydia winks, "Can't you not be a slut for one minute" Jackson yells in frustration.

Stiles walks out of the Cafe, telling the monitor he has to use the bathroom,he walks to the other side of the school, enters the warm and stuffy gymnasium and walks across the floor to the men's changing rooms, he walks into the locker room and across to the bathroom, he walks into the handicap accessible stall, kneels down and starts to stick his finger into his throat, finally once he starts to gag soon followed by vomit, once he was happy with how much he made himself vomit, he thought that it was proficient enough that his lunch was no longer in his system. He stood up, walked over to the sink grabbed a tube of crest whitening toothpaste and toothbrush out of his backpack with a batman sticker, which he won't let anyone touch and began to brush his teeth. "What did you just do?" a rather dark and mysterious man's voice came from behind him, Stiles looks up into the mirror and sees a man, with dark hair wearing a black v neck with his arms crossed across his chest and a scowl upon his face. "Are you just going to stare at me with your mouth on the floor, or are you going to tell me what the hell i just witnessed?" "...Uhm...i-i-i-i- i just haven't been feeling all that well lately, like, my stomach has you know, its like upset." "Then why didn't you go see the nurse, or the bathroom that was closest to the Cafe, where you just came from." Stiles, "Well i didn't want anyone to hear me throw up, and i can't miss any more days of school, so the nurse was out of the question, i have this really big test coming up and i can't focus right now, my mind is going a mile a minute, i can't think straight my stomache hurts, oh god, i think i'm going to be sick..." Derek. "Kid just cal... Stiles, "STILES, my name is STILES not kid." Derek. "Okay, Stiles, just calm down, take a deep breath." Stiles, "So creepy dark mysterious man with a rather large chest who i don't know , who are you?" Derek, looking annoyed, "I'm Derek. I play Varsity Hockey, haven't you ever went to a game before? Usually the whole school piles in for the games." Stiles," Yes, because i love watching men skate in circles while chasing a black oval thing...No why would i waste my time. I have practice everyday after school until 8, then home, homework if i feel like doing it and then i practice some more then i shower and bed. No time for silly hockey games, "derek"" Derek," Okay princess, ONE, we don't skate in circles , that black oval thing? Its called a puck. And you cant play any school sports, because well, i know everybody and well, i didn't even know you went to this school until this morning..." Stiles, "I like to keep it that way"

Stiles walks away. He turns and he heads for the door, He leaves this very attractive man than Stiles has been crushing on since his freshman year, yes that was only last year, but still thats over a year that stiles has been jerking off to Derek Hale, Star Hockey Player, Center, First Line. Stiles has almost gotten caught, twice now in two days. He needs to be more careful.

The days goes on, well drags on would be more like it, Derek sits in English Lit, doodling, bored as usual, no ones texting him back so there isn't anything better to do.

The bell rings, Stiles runs out of class, down to his locker and throws his books in and grabs what he needs for homework, he checks his phone, 2:00 class doesn't start until 3 today, so he takes a breath, and walked casually to his jeep. As he walks down the hall, he sees Derek, of course with his Jock buddies, standing there doing absolutely nothing. "Fag" i hear one of them yell, it's nothing new, it comes with the territory i guess, but you would think that people had some decency to leave people the fuck alone, but no, no they don't, and of course now i have to walk down the hall with my head held high and act as if it doesn't phase me, I have to walk right by mr. hottie and and walk by him as he laughs with his ass holes he calls friends. Its whatever at this point, i have two and a half years left of this and then im free, im free to go to New York and be in the ABA and everything will be fine. Two and a half years. That's all it is.

"fag" the word again rings in my head as if someone just stabbed me. The voice, so deep, it echos in my head. Bathroom. I need a bathroom.

Stiles pace quickens as he walks down the hallway to the nearest bathroom on the opposite side of the building away from the students who haven't made their way out of the building yet, he doesn't want anyone to hear him. He rushes through the door and to the las stall locks the door, and just stands their, mind running a mile a minute, a thought a second, the need to just give up, the pain he feels, the pressure to not be who he is, the taunting, the mind games, He pulls himself together and walks out to the mirror, he takes a damp towel and tries to rid himself of the puffiness from crying, to mask what he had just felt. Stiles is walking towards his jeep and he notices a man leaning up against the driver door, black v neck, dark hair, ray ban aviators. " If you're here to call me a fag again you can save yourself the hassle and please leave me alone" Stiles pleaded as he tries to get into his jeep. " I dont know why i said that Stiles, i just wanted to apologi..." Derek was cut short by a raging Stiles. "Fuck off, you knew what you were doing , you were with your lame ass jock buddies, i honestly couldn't give two fucking shits, WERE NOT EVEN FRIENDS" Stiles says overdramatically, with hand gestures to go with the statement. "Whatever Stiles" Derek growls as he sulks away with his hand deep into his jeans. Fuck FUck Fuck! Why would today be a good fucking day, why, fucking why! i need to get to fucking practice, and all i can fucking think is i want my bed, i want to curl up in my bed with the picture of me and my mom and cry myself to sleep. God i wish she were still here, i wish she could see me now, and i wish she could give me a hug and tell me that everything is going to be all right, to tell me that she loves me, so when i'm having a bad day she'll lay in bed with me and she'll hold me and tell me that im kind, and beautiful and smart and all those things that woman from the help says to that little girl, i really just fucking need my mom, not just her picture right now" end chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me a while to update i know when im realling itno s tory I want the next part NOW! so I will tend to update at least every other day. So here is part 2!

Chapter 2

_I hear my alarm go off, but to actually silence it means i'm back in reality, i'm back here, in this world, not in my dream world where my mom and I are best friends and Scott actually payed attention to me, but not since he became the lacrosse star. I don't want to get up. _

Stiles had thought before he finally threw his pillow at his batman alarm clock and ran to the shower to freshen up before school. He turns on the faucet to the perfect temperature , not too hot, but not cold. Just right. He steps in and lets the warm water run down and pour over his face. He lets the water wash away everything that happened yesterday, he let all the pain he felt from the jerks who dared to yell fag to him while he was walking to his Jeep. Derek, who tried to act like he had to do it, To Mme. Lilly who worked his ass so hard yesterday he came home and filled his bathtub with all the ice the mini mart had down the street and just laid there while listening to Sky Ferrieira , he was obsessed with her new single Red Lips.

He soon realized that if he didn't put it into high gear he was going to be late for school. He shampooed and conditioned his hair with his Paul Mitchell hair care line, Irish Spring for body wash. Finally when he decided he as clean up to his standards he got out and dried himself down he walked back into his room to put some clothes on, he walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of neon yellow Andrew Christian Trunk style underwear threw them on with a pair of white shorts that were rather short for a male, they came about 2 inches above the knee, he threw on a old batman shirt that he turned into a baby tank accompanied by his yellow ray ban wayfarers. He walked down the stairs grabbed his keys from the dinning room table that had a orange sticky note on the top reading "working late tonight kiddo, you're on your own for dinner, -Dad" _What else is new _Stiles thinks to himself as hes out the door ji the matter of seconds and into his jeep flooring it to the high school blaring Britney Spears in the car, Till the world ends, its is guilty pleasure!

He pulls into his usual parking spot by the gymnasium and gets out, grabs his backpack out from the back seat and was sooner met by a tall muscular man standing behind him with this glare about him that was quite , well almost vicious looking " Your late, do you know how long i've been waiting out here for you Stiles..?"

"No creepy stubble on his face man, i don't know and i really don't care, now if you will excuse me i'm already late for school and i have to go sign in" Stiles threw right back at him as he pushes him to the side, derek could have easily not let Stiles push him due to his, well, Derek being a werewolf and having crazy stamina and strength but he didn't want to allude to anything that he wasn't ready to share to this annoying free spirited kid that for some reason infatuated him more than he would like to let on.

"I'm late as well" he said in a huff trying to get back to Stiles side. "Why won't you listen to me? Why can't you just shut up for one moment and listen to me" Derek said trying to obtain Stiles attention.

"Why would I want to listen to you Derek? Why? SO you can be nice to me now and let me think you are someone who actually cares? Or that guy that yelled the word, uhmmm, what was it again?...Oh yea, FAG down the hall at me and then went on to laughing as I walked away trying to keep my composure, well let me tell you something Mr. Grumpy bipolar man, i don't need to talk to anyone, i don't need anyone, i don't want friends, nor do i need them, i'm going to be a prima ballerina and i will be the fucking best, i won't be living here forever i will be in NYC and you, you will be nothing more than a mere ass hole bully that made my life hell"Stiles said as he walked away out of the office and down towards his first block class.

The lunch bell goes off and the hallway becomes crowded with a sea of people, talking loudly and and hundreds of conversations going on, Stiles is walking to lunch not talking to anyone, he kinda has this blank stare about him and who but Mr. Sourfwolf to see him like this.

"You know, maybe if you were not so much of a pain in the ass you would have friends" he says with a tad bit of an attitude.

"Well maybe if you werent a homophobe i'd actually like you" Stiles looks into his eyes and says with a straight face, not with his usual sas, but more muted, tone. Derek stands still in the hallway as if he's been hit by a bus. It's 2012 and Derek Hale had just been called a homophobe, only douchebags are homophobes like his buddies from the hockey team, and christian freaks who think they're better than the rest of the school and world.

(Stiles POV) _Why won't he just leave me alone, why can't he just accept the fact that i don't want to be friends with him, and wait, why does he want to be friends, maybe he's just plotting to try and get me to fall for him and then he can just throw me under the bus in front of the entire school. Maybe he ,well i don't know but there's a reason why and i am NOT going to let him into my brain. _ _Its been about a month since my last encounter with hunky big chest man. I haven't really seen him around school or anything and it's not like i can go see him at one of his hockey games considering its November, and his season doesn't start until December 13th i think it was. Wait...why do i know when his season starts? God i wish my mom was here to talk to, she would know what to say to me, she would know all about boy trouble, the last time i asked my dad about boys he said to me "boys are stupid, they will tell you anything to get into your pants, now stay single and a virgin until you're 30 and married to a nice boy" never felt the need to ask him. I would ask lydia but i already know her response, "Oh my gosh Stiles, what on earth is taking you so long, go after that boy!" but that's not what i want to hear, i want to hear someone actually listen to what i have to say and what i want to hear as well, maybe i do want to go after him, maybe i do want him, ughhh, why is he so frustrating the amount of adderall i've been taking is not healthy just so i can be sane, i can't help but, wait. why is he still in my mind, i haven't even seen him since last thursday when i snuck into the hockey arena to watch him practice in the morning...god he looks so good in his hockey uniform, and when he takes his helmet off and his shirt hair is all sweaty and sticks to his face and he just has the sheen about him from the sweat...i jizzed my pants right then and there i couldn't control myself! I really wish that she was here right now. *alarm goes off* _

Stiles awakens not so happily, he chucks his new alarm clock at the wall, falls out of bed and crawls to the bathroom, has decided to take a bath rather than a shower, he's given up on being on time to school he doesn't particularly care at this point in time. He fills up his bath with some bubbles and while he waits for the tub to fill he walks into his room and decides what he's going to wear, he walks over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of pink and turquoise cheetah print Calvin Klein trunk style underwear to go under his straight legged jeans and his vintage Star wars crew neck and slaps them onto this vanity in the bathroom and then turns the water off and decides that first period isnt all that important due to he has a free period he will just go in late and enjoy this bath.

_Why can't every morning be like this, why does it hurt so much to get out of bed, why do i have to fight with myself every time i get out of bed to actually stay here, stay living and fight for what he wants to do, he's hasn't even gone to ballet this week, Mme. Lilly called his father and his dad had to explain to her that Stiles depression has been getting worse and that he's been seeing a therapist and has been practicing his part with lydia every weekend at Lydias studio she has in her home. I can't deal with this all the time i hate feeling like this life is actual work, Scott and Allison Lydia & Peter Danny & Jackson, all of what he used to call friends are in relationships and have forgotten to make time for little Stiles and well he got i my wish, i wished i didn't have friends, now i don't._ Stiles arrives at school around second block he signs in and goes about his day the best he can, trying to stay awake in A.P Calc , trying not to hit anyone in his A.P English Lit class where everyone doesn't understand Shakespeare and Stiles just wants to shoot everyone who took an A.P course and doesn't understand what they are reading , it annoys him to say the least.

Fourth block ends and the lunch bell sirens and hes off to lunch, he sits with the couple table and just eats his lunch in silence and then when hes had enough he gets up.

Stiles gets up from his table says his goodbyes to Lydia & Jackson who are yet again fighting, this time its Lydia tells Jackson that hes not good enough for Danny and that he needs to treat him better or she's going to cut off his dick. Stiles laughs as he's throwing away his trash and walks out of the Cafe and down to the gyms bathroom where he walks into his stall all the way to the left of the entrance, he had made sure that there was no one in the lav before he took out his toothbrush, turned it to the flat end, and stuck all the way to the end of his throat and just kept pressing and applying pressure until he made himself vomit, all meanwhile thinking

_JUST FUCKING GAG ALREADY, why can't i throw up, i can't have this fucking carb loaded sandwich in my stomach, i can't gain another fucking pound, i'm already fat, how is this happening, why isn't anything happening, what if someone walks in, its never taken me this long to upchuck. *throws up* ugh finally!_

As he rises to his feet, he gently takes some toilet paper and wraps his hand, and then continues to flush the toilet. He walks over the the sinks and washes off the toothbrush, then takes out some toothpaste, and brushes his teeth. The sad fact is he feels a sense of control every time he throws up, he feels that for once he can control the outcome, he doesn't care if one day he ends up in the hospital because right now hes working towards his goal, and little does he think that his dream is truly killing him. He looks in the mirror, and all he sees is a young man getting skinnier and skinnier every day, just how he wants to be, biut what he fails to see is he has lost every tone of color in his skin, his arms are just bone and hes as frail as can be. Hes sick and he doesn't even realize it. He needs to get help, but he won't. His father thinks its from taking all of his depression medication that's making him lose all this weight because it is one of the side effects.

He continues the day productively, he sat next to Danny durring Chemistry and they talked about how Jackson was being an ass last night and that Danny made him beg for his forgiveness then had hot makeup sex. ( anyone for a side danny/Jackson fic? thinking about it!) Stiles laughs kinda and then the last bell sounds off and once again the hallway is a sea of people, and Stiles is feeling nothing but lonely. He walks to his car and notices a sticky note on his windshield, i mean how could he miss it, it was pink.

"How long have you been throwing up everything you eat Stiles? - D"

Stiles heart drops as he reads the note, how does this stalker man know he throws up his food, he only ran into the man once, and the thought he covered it up pretty well. Stiles turns around to walk back into the school to confront big grumpy man but was soon startled by Mr. Sourwolf himself standing behind him black V-neck in all.

"Gosh, sneaky much! Where did you even come from! Stiles whispers as he's trying to recover from his little heart attack.

"I would rather not get into that conversation with you right here Stiles" Derek says with a smug look on his face.

"Really Derek" Stiles says annoyed at Derek trying to be funny

"Why do you throw up everything you eat?" Derek says with a stern face and almost a scowl.

"You know if you keep your face like that for so long and since you always look like that, your face might just stay like that forever Mr. Grumpy"

"Tell me why you throw up everything you eat here at school, do you throw up only the school meals? Or do you throw up every single thing you eat, its not healthy Stiles"

"Excuse me, but the last time i checked you weren't my boyfriend and most definitely not my father so why do you even care? Last time i checked, yelling fag to the local gay and then avoiding me for over a month pretty much makes you a homophobe!"

"SHUT UP STILES!" Derek says as he pins Stiles to the car with both hands clenched tightly into his crew neck his face centimeters away from Stiles face.

"Careful now Derek, wouldn't want anyone thinking your a fag now would you?" Stiles says with a smirk, feeling good about what he said.

"Tell. Me. Why. You. Throw. Up. Everything. That. You. Eat. Your already to fucking skinny, all you are , are skin and bones, and lately you've been looking whiter and whiter every day."

"Derek, why do you care!"

"I don't fucking care."

"Then leave me be."

"Why can't you answer my question"

"YOU said you didn't care, it's my body, i'll treat it however i want to."

"Just answer my question"

"No"

"Yes"

NO"

"Stiles, why are you being so difficult!" he grabs stiles crew neck even tighter and shoves his face even closer.

"I can feel your breath against my lips..." Stiles says nervously

"Damit Stiles." Derek says as he smashes his lips into Stiles, as he grabs stiles and pulls him even tighter to his body hands falling on his rear, Stiles's hands fumbling around in the air trying to figure out to go with it, or to fight hit, he decides upon putting his hands into Derek's hair, "trying to pull your hair would be nicer if you had some" Stiles said to derek with a moan as their bruised lips pull apart from each other.

"Why must you ruin this moment" Derek says as he picks Stiles up and throws him over his shoulder and walks him to his camaro, luckily basically everyone has traveled home and Stiles and Derek were the last two cars in the parking lot.

"Put me down you big monkey! Don't you dare fart Derek!" Stiles says hes hes slapping dereks butt and trying not to laugh.

"Why am I in your car Derek!"

"Because i'm not letting you leave until you tell me why you throw up everything you eat."

"Derek, its none of your business"

"I Just kissed you,it is most certainly my fucking business Stiles, i've been fucking going crazy for the past two months, one where we actually talked and i got to see you, and another your pansy little ass avoided me an..."

"I AM NOT A PANSY MR. GRUMPY!"

"Stiles Just shut up. Please just tell me why you're acting so stupidly, you haven't even been going to ballet. You said you loved ballet." Derek says as he's speeding up towards the Stilinski house and his hand is on the younger boys lap.

As they pull into the Stilinski driveway derek unbuckled his seatbelt and looks at Stiles, he says

"Please tell me why you are doing this to yourself, please Stiles."

Stiles answers " I don't know"

"What do you mean you don't know" Derek replies hastily .

"Thats it, i don't know Derek, i do it because i can, i do it because it gives me a sense of i just i don't know Derek!" Stiles says with his head in a downward position.

"You need help Stiles" Derek says back to the boy.

"Just add it to the list" Stiles answers sadly.

End Chapter 2.

Hello there readers! that is it for chapter 2! i'm almost done with chapter 3 as well, i actually would like your help! i would love to interact with all of you, there's a bunch of readers who have favorited this and watching out for when i update, so i would love for all of you to reply and ask for what you want and i will more than likely put it in the next chapter and work it in, i know i said smut coming soon, but i'm sorry, i wasn't feeling it for this chapter, Stiles is still very well, unstable, i think smut will come in chapter 4! But don't be shy! let me know what you want or think! i'm open for ideas. Thanks Again- SR


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Why are you in my kitchen...Wait...are you wearing my dads apron...You do realize kiss the chef correct?" Stiles says as he walks towards Derek.

"Im cooking you i don't want to get any sauce on my clothing, and yes i do realize it says kiss the cook. And why aren't you kissing the cook?" Derek says with a flirty tone to his voice.

"Well aren't you cheeky mr Hale" Stiles answered raping his arms around Dereks back while he nips at Dereks neck.

"Thanks for the thought, but i'm just not all that hungry Der" Stiles says as innocently as he can walking away from him.

"You're going to eat this" Derek says as he puts two plates down o the table picking up his fork looking at Stiles as he stares blankly at his plate.

"I told you, i'm not that hungry, but if you want you can put it in some tupperware and i'll eat it later when i am." Stiles looks at his plate as he pushes it away from him and towards the center of the table.

_Why is he doing this to me, god why! Why is he making me dinner. Why is he here. Why can't he leave me be. We've been good since that day he drove me home. hes come over every day after ballet and we would just watch tv and cuddle and just talk. Everything was going fucking perfect. He wasnt asking me about my issues, he was letting me be. why can't he leave me be and let me be happy about me. I'm almost at my goal weight. Why is he doing this to me now. Fucking pasta a full plate as big as my fucking head, and garlic bread, not one but two pieces, and thats so many carbs, carbs on carbs! Why can't he just leave it be! I'm finally starting to let him in some, and then he does something like this! How can i ever trust him if he won't let me be. How can he do this to me. It was like i was just stabbed in the back a knife! _

"Stiles eat, please just eat!" Derek pleaded with Stiles.

"Im not hungry Derek, and i ate before you came over!" Stiles said in desperation.

"What time!" Derek said sternly.

"Excuse me?" Stiles said with a look of question on his face.

"I don't know like an hour ag.."

"LIAR! You're fucking lying to me! Stiles i've been her for two hours cooking, the sauce i made from scratch! You are lying to me! You didn't eat an hour ago!"

"Derek just stop! I'M FINE!" Stiles says as he stands up to walk away.

"Don't fucking walk away from me Stiles!" Derek says as he pushes his chair out and it falls when he rises quickly.

"JUST FUCKING LEAVE DEREK!" Stiles _it says _says walking towards the entry/exit way.

"WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!" Derek says as he picks up the plates of food and throws them against the wall and runs up to Stiles as fast as he can, pushing stiles up against the wall, gripping with both hands stiles shirt and lifts him up off of the floor, his face just mm away from Stiles's face.

"Why are you hurting yourself like this, why won't you let me help you. I need to help you." Derek says as he rests his head on Stiles's chest.

"I don't need help. I'm not sick! There is nothing wrong with me Derek! I''M FINE!" Stiles says.

Derek lets go of stiles and he walks away. Stiles can't stay on his feet he's become so weak, he falls and he looks at Derek walking away from him.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! DON'T WALK AWAY FROM US!" Stiles begs as he sees derek opening the door to walk out"

"I won't stay here, i won't stay with you, watching you kill yourself Stiles, i can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped." Derek says as he shuts the dorr.

"IM NOT SICK! I DON'T NEED HELP YOU FUCKING ASS! LEAVE! GET OUT!" Stiles says as he throws his tearing face into his hands.

_I can't do this, i can't handle losing another person, i can't , i can't, why is he doing this, why did he leave, i don't need help, i'm perfectly fine, ballerinas need to be skinny, and if throwing up his food was what he needed to do and if he had to go a few days without eating to make his weight what he needed it to be, so be it. Why can't Derek understand? I need him to understand, i need him. I was finally happy. I was finally getting there, i didn't cry myself to sleep, i didn't need to, i stopped sleeping with my moms pictures, instead i slept with his arms wrapped tightly around me, his hairy arms wrapped around my waist and his head, the scruff on his face leaned on my neck. i felt..i felt...i felt safe. i felt that i didn't need to be in control. I felt that i could do this every day, i could do this every night, i could fall asleep in his arms and be happy. _

After about an hour Stiles stands and goes to the the sink, he grabs soap, a sponge, and heavy duty black bags to throw away the broken glass and clean the mess. he walks towards the wall and he picks up all the glass and throws it in the garbage along with the food that had fallen off the wall and that had made its way to the floor. He soaps up the sponge and as hes washing away the red pasta sauce off of the wall he wishes he could wash away the tears he was shedding from his eyes.

About an hour passes while Stiles is cleaning the mess Stiles had picked up, he put away the rest of the food in the fridge and left his father a note to help himself when he got home. He walked into the living room and put on Titanic, so he could cry some more, and if poppa Stilinski happened to come home he could blame the movie for his tears and not have to face his father.

He was awaken by his father shaking his shoulder, he tried to move but he couldn't, he couldn't breathe, all he could feel was his eyes rolling back into his head, he was in and out of consciousness.

"No no no no no no no... Stiles wake up, Stiles GET UP. GENIM WAKE UP!

Stiles's father reaches for his sons iphone on the coffee table and dials 911 as quickly as he can.

"Hello, yes, operator, my son, he he's not waking up, hes not moving! I NEED HELP! HE WON'T WAKE UP! I NEED AN AMBULANCE HERE NOW! I NEED!. Yes, yes okay i won't hang up."

Mr. Stilinski waits for the ambulance to arrive and when it does he was taken in with his son into the back of the ambulance and off they went to the hospital.

When they finally arrived Mr. Stilinski was surprisingly met by Scotts mom. They chatted for a while, he was shocked to learn that Scott and Stiles were not longer friends and that he wasn't aware of the fact that Stiles had been so out of it. How did he lose sight of his son? How could he do this, Stiles said the weight loss was a side effect from his depression medication, and he didn't believe him so he looked it up, and he was right! So he thought that was the end of it. He moved on!

"Mr Stilinski can i have a word please?" Stiles's Dr. has come out of his sons room with his clipboard in hand and stern look on his face.

"Mr. Stilinski, i'm going to be very blunt with you here, i'm sorry if i'm too forward but, I need to know if your son was eating."

"Mr. Haynes, if you asked me that question yesterday i would have laughed in your face and told you to stay out of my family's business, but right now, i don't know what to think, my son has been struggling with depression and his medication that he takes one of the main side effects is weight loss, and i work crazy hours to keep us going so i'm not always home at meal time, so i always thought the meds were the cause of his weight loss, and he does ballet, and well have you ever seen a male ballet dance Mr. Haynes? They're naturally skinny, and right as this moment i , i , i feel ughhh, i feel like i've failed my son and i don't know what ill do if i lose him, ive already lost my wife, his mother, and , if i lose him i'm done, i give up!" Mr. Stilnski says throwing his face into his hands as he sits down and leans his elbows on his knees crying in the family waiting room.

_I don't want to wake up, i feel myself coming to consciousness and i don't want to, i'm done, i'm throwing in the towel, what do i have to live fo honestly, Jackson is the lead for the recital i've worked my entire life for, ABA scouts are going to be there and i won't be seen, Jackson will, and Derek, ughhh Derek, i wish i could let him in, but how could he love me if he knew who i really was, a depressed has been ballerina with an eating disorder which has made the has been. Why would he even care, he already walked out, he threw his little tantrum because i wasn't hungry and that was that, i'm done._

"Stiles, if you can hear me, please say something, let us know that you are able to hear us." Dr. Haynes had asked.

"Unfortunately, i can hear you." Stiles says rolling onto his side and refusing to look at his father who is standing by the Dr.

"Mr. Stilinksi i need a few moments alone with your son if it is alright with you." The Dr. asks as he sits on the end of Stiles's bed and Mr. Stilinski walks out into the waiting room.

"I know you haven't been eating, or if you have been, you've been throwing it up almost immediately, and from what i can't tell, you werent anorexic, because if you were you would be in even worse condition, even so, your body is having a hard time functioning, and you need help."

"I don't want help, i want this to end." Stiles says as he turns back onto his side

"I want you to get help Stiles, i want you to see a therapist and to go to group for your eating disorder, i want you to get passed this and be able to live a happy life. I would like to see you leave here today wanting to better yourself because we can't keep you, but i have talked to your father and you will be getting help"

"When can i leave?" Stiles asks

"whenever your father thinks you're ready to leave, you were out for two days Stiles, your body now has what it needs to function due to IVs but if you don't eat, and keep what you eat down you will be right back here, and next time you won't be so lucky Stiles" Dr. Haynes says.

"Stiles its been a week since i've started seeing you and we have gotten absolutly nowhere, your father force feeds you and stays by your side making sure you keep down your food! Why don't you want help? Do you think something is wrong with you? Is there a reason why you have been living this way for the past few months?" his therapist asked him.

"I didn't have a problem, i do now, my father walks around after me like a puppy dog, he makes sure i eat three meals and snack all throughout the day, i haven't been to school at all for the past 5 days, i've gained 5 pounds, i'm tired, and i'm just tired of having tried so hard to get nowhere and for nothing, i'm done trying, doesn't anyone get that! I'm done, just let me be! I'm not going to try and commit suicide, i just want some freedom."

"Freedom has to be earned and as of right now, you aren't trusted and i don't think you can be."

"Times Up you know"Stiles says looking at the clock.

"How was your session today bud?" Mr. Stilinski asks his son while eating dinner.

"I don't know, he thinks i have to earn back your trust, and well... i kind of agree.. even though i didn't really think i was doing anything wrong at the time." Stiles says as he just plays with his fork.

"Stiles, kiddo, i know you won't be fixed in a weeks time but i want you to know that i'm going to be a better father, i'm not going to let you fall back into your old habits."

" I know pops, and i really am sorry, but i, i just , just the sense of control, doing what i did, it, it felt good, ya know? It felt like i finally had control over something in my life. I need that, and i miss it.." Stiles says as he takes a bite of his chicken, he doesn't eat all of his food that made its way onto his plate, but he's been eating more and more every day, its only been a week, but it seems like Stiles is trying to better himself, its hard, and there has been many times where he wanted to give in and go back to what he used to know. But on the plus Allison and Scott came to see him, they talked and Scott felt awful and promised to be a better friend and that Stiles could count on him again. Allison told him that she would make sure that her boyfriend made time for him. Stiles smiled at that and he was happy that his best friend was finally accepting him for who he was, and that he could be happy to call him a friend again.

"So...that guy Derek...he came up to me today and asked me where you've been all week." Scott says as he Allison and Stiles were in the living room watching Captain America.

"Yea so what did you tell him?" Stiles says trying to play it off like he didn't care.

"I told him how would i know, i didn't actually see you until today." Scott says looking confused at why Stiles asked him that, and why Derek even asked him that in the first place.

"What was going on between you guys Stiles?" Allison asked kind of intrigued about the situation.

"Nothing happened! he drove me home from school one day, i thought we clocked, but it turned out to be nothing he ended it, thats that." Stiles says frantically standing up.

"I think i want to go to bed, so if you'll excuse me my bed is calling me, but Scott, Allison, thank you, really i mean it, thank you for coming over today, it means a lot to me, and Allison, you break his heart, and i will shave your head while you're sleeping" he says trying to be funny, they all laugh and as soon as they're out the door, Stiles is walking into his room and as he shuts the door, he sees a dark shadow sitting on his bed, and his stomache is in knots immediately, its Derek.

"Uhm...How on earth did you get in here?" Stiles asks as he leans against the door.

"Window" Derek replies not looking up

"Oh." Stiles says just standing there twiddling his thumbs

Derek stands up and walks over to where Stiles is standing and reaches his hand out to brush his hand across his cheek.

"You don't look like a ghost anymore." Derek says as he walks to the window

"Why did you leave me!" Stiles says frantically before Derek could get the chance to leave.

"I couldn't stand to watch you kill yourself Stiles, i couldn't watch someone i was falling for kill themselves, i've already lost so many. "

"I'm getting help you know, i mean i've been eating more, and I've been seeing a therapist." Stiles says as he tries to grab Dereks hand.

"Thats nice Stiles, I just needed to see and make sure you were okay myself."

"Don't you wanna stay?" Stiles asks with a sad expression across his face.

"Good night Stiles" before he knew it he was in his Camaro on his way back to his house.

_I've lost him. I finally do what he told me to do, i'm doing this for him. and he . _

Hello there readers! well thats chapter 3! its a little shorter than i thought, but i thought that was a good place to stop for the moment being, well i've started chapter 4! and i need your help! i want to know where you think things should go from here! i have plans for a very possessive Derek. What do you think? Let me know! Review, Like! Do whatever pleases you loves!

-SR


	4. Chapter 4

CH.4

Hello there! I just want to say thank you to all of you who have favorited and reviewed and PM me, and i still want to hear from you, and hear what you want! because after all this is for you! and as you can see, my friend who asked for Derek to cook Stiles dinner, we almost got there, but i of course put my twist on it, and well, you will one day have what you asked for! So enough of me, here is chapter 4!

_People always say time heals all, they say that not matter how bad it hurts the pain will subside and you will come out great in the end and blah blah blah. It's now November and well i still hurt. But luckily for me, i know a certain something about a very protec..no possessive ex I want back. And I get what i want. _

_ poor Isaac. I ran into him in the halls the other day, i didn't really want to use him, but what else could i do? Jackson was off limits, Danny would kill me, and well, Danny is off limits because Jackson would kill me. Scott, well Scott isnt my type, and well Allison is really good with a bow, and well, i'd end up dead. So when Isaac walked up to me and asked me the usual questions for a conversation, how you doing, hows school, blah blah blah, well, thats when it hit me, i could use this man to my advantage. I can use Isaac to get what i want, who better to use to get back a Mr. Alpha than to use one of his own pack members! Even though Mr. Sourwolf hasn't officially or well, he wouldn't tell me what he is, Scott can't keep his mouth shut. I still don't get how Derek thinks Scott does all this research for him, i mean no offense to Scott, but hes just not that smart...Oh well. I think Isaac is trying to flirt with my he has one arm against the locker the other rubbing his hand across my cheek, very cliche, it was bothering me, but not because i was being flirted with, but because it wasn't who i wanted it to be with. I wanted Derek to flirt with me, I wanted to see his face in the halls and smile, and him smile back and bear hug me when my back is to him. God i sound so cliche, but i , don't judge a man whose feeling very emotional and well, I'M JUST AN EMOTIONAL PERSON OKAY! Can men have a period? Hmmm. i don't know. But back to Isaac, He was shamelessly flirting so, i took advantage of it, i asked him if he cared to go dancing with Jackson Danny and I. And you could guess what his answer was. Saturday night. There's this new gay night club HYPE only an hour or so away from town. So we the plans were made, I was driving and Jackson may have slipped the fact to Derek that we were all going out and thats why he and Isaac weren't going to be able to make it to the pack meeting saturday night. _

"What do you mean you aren't coming to pack on saturday! ITS PACK JACKSON! You have to here, thats that." Derek says as he crosses his arms across his chest and kicks his feet up on the coffee table that he and Stiles picked out a while back, Stiles fell in love with it when they were shopping for furniture for Dereks house a while back, it was black wood on top, but it had leather around all four sides and metal studs all around the trim. Stiles said is was badass and Mr. Badass Alpha needed it. So of course, Derek bought it immediately.

"Derek, its not a big deal, Scott didn't come last week! Danny Stiles Isaac and I have plans! Theres this new club opening and Stiles got all of us tickets!"Jackson pleads with Derek

"Is..Uhm.. Isaac. Stiles's date?" Derek asks nervously, uncrossing his arms and bringing his elbows to his knees as he looks down at the rug, another of Stiles's pick.

"Yea, Isaac was shamelessly flirting with him today and i think Stiles felt bad for him or so he asked him out on a date" Jackson says with no problem.

" and Isaac are dateing!" Derek says standing up.

"Nah, Stiles is going to wreck this kid, get what he wants tomorrow and then that'll be that. Ya know, a one night stand." Jackson says punching Derek in the arm.

"No" And before Jackson could protest Derek was out the door and his Camaro had been started and he was gone. Off to Stiles's house.

"Stiles is laying on his bed jerking off when Derek flys through the window.

"What the fuck Derek!" Stiles says as he throws a pillow over his erect cock.

"You. Are. Not. Going. Out. With. Isaac. Tomorrow." Derek says walking towards Stiles who is sitting in an upright position with a pillow between his groin.

"GET OUT DEREK!" Stiles yells throwing one arm in the air pointing in the direction of the window.

"Who were you thinking of Stiles?" Derek says with a grin on your face.

_Not you. Not Derek Hale thats for sure. Nope definitely not you Mr. Strong, Big manly hairy chest man, with a nice ass_

"Who were you thinking of Stiles!"

"Isaac" Stiles lies.

"Don't lie to me!" Derek says walking closer

"I wasn't" Stiles yells

"Have you been eating Stiles"

"Im trying, i really am, its , its just not that easy Derek." Stiles says kind of as if he were defeated as he pulls the covers over him

"Stiles its just food" Derek says as he walks towards the window

"Its more than that Der, its about the control" Stiles whispers

"Go to sleep Stiles, and don't forget to text Isaac and tell him you're canceling the date, i don't approve" Derek says as he leaves Stiles alone in his room.

_I can't do this right now, i can't handle this, why did he come here, that wasn't part of the plan, that wasn't supposed to happen! He was supposed to show up at the club, not here, not in my room, not while i was jerking off to the sight of him fucking me! i can't. i , i can't breathe, oh my , oh , oh my god, i'm going to throw up._ Stiles runs from the bed to his bathroom and kneels down in front of the toilet and gags, but not enough to make himself throw up , but he keeps trying, hes not giving in, or giving up i should say, he needs this, he needs the control, everything he does never works in his favor and right now, this is what he needs. He needs to have some control in his life. He gets up and grabs his toothbrush and he sticks the end of ti down his throat , a routine that is all too familiar for him.

Stiles wakes up the next morning to his phone ringing, it was playing Pop that lock by Adam Lambert, he has been enjoying his mans new album.

"What the fuck who is calling me this early this morning, because i will rip you apart, with my teeth!: Stiles screams into the phone

"Morning sexy" Isaac says

"What the fuck Isaac, its like 7 in the morning!" Stiles answers

"Well i just wanted to make sure we're still on for tonight, thats all"

"Oh yeah, we're still on , i'll pick you up around 8, now fuck off, i'm going back to bed."

"G'night sleeping beauty"

"fuck off" Stiles laughs as he hangs up the phone.

Stiles finally awakens for the rest of the day around noon, he gets up, makes an egg sandwich, takes a few bites, get full, and throws the rest out, its a start, he goes upstairs throws on his pink jockstrap, a pair of gym shorts and a white v -neck. Off to the gym he goes.

About an hour later he returns home sweaty and gross and in dire need of a shower, he strips down to nothing and throws his clothes into the hamper, well at least tries, he still misses on a daily basis. he showers and then just lays on his bed to pass the time, he said he would pick Isaac up at 8, but he was going to hang out with Jackson at 6. So he gets up, walks over to his dresser and decided on what hes going to wear, he decides on black leather studded vest left open, no shirt underneath, a pair of dark wash jean cut offs, red rosary beads and cheetah print steve maddens with spikes.

_Well, this is it, this is what i am. I'm going to rock the shit out of tonight, i'm going to have fun, i will do this, i will have fun. I WILL i can't stay in every night, i don't even care if i make Derek jealous, i need this for me, i need to do this for me, i need to do something. An d why does he care anyways? He left me, he doesn't have the right to!_

"Stiles do you have any laundry that you need done kid!" Mr. Stilinski yells up from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yea , gimme a sec i'll bring them down to you pops!" Stiles says as he walks to his hamper, he starts to pick up all the missed clothing and when he was finally done he realized something was missing. He picked up everything from the past week,.  
_Where the fuck is my jockstrap! I just fucking bought that! oh well its prolly around here somewhere, i don't have time to look for it, and I don't really want my dad washing my jockstrap..especially considering its neon pink...Its for the better _Stiles thinks as he brings down his laundry basket to his dad.

"Uhm excuse me Stiles, where are you going dressed like that!" Poppa Stilinski asks with a wave of confusion rushing over his face. "

Dancing with Jackson, Danny, and Isaac, i know its a little risque but, i mean its a club, i gotta look the part don't i?" Stiles asks quietly.

"Well, at least you're going out, now don't go fucking any guy in the back of the club, you keep yourself for a nice man that can take care of you" Mr. Stilinski says as he walks down the stairs to the basement to do the laundry.

"Bye pops" Stiles says as he shuts the front door.

"DAMN BABY YOU LOOK FINE!" Jackson says as Stiles gets out of his jeep and is walking towards jackson and Danny.

"Stiles, is that you!" Danny looks confused.

"I'm single, i'm not that bad looking, i have Dereks credit card, and well, i'm not going on any dates looking like shit!" Stiles says as he hugs Danny and Jackson laughing and trying to stay up.

"Well, you're going to make Isaac cream his pants when he sees you looking like that!" danny says grabbing Stiles's ass and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm having trouble not touching you myself! And i've have had good restraint lately and damn boy." Jackson says as Danny punches him. "Ow, babe, Kidding!" Jackson says trying to backtrack.

Its 8 and Stiles has Danny and Jackson making out in the back of his Jeep, Isaac in the front seat with his hand on Stiles's lap, They're in the car blasting T-Mills, Stiles's singing along to The Boom, he thinks hes cool, Isaac is all into it drooling over Stiles and Stiles, well hes okay with it. Its about 10:00 when the boys arrive at HYPE and they bypass the line and walk right in due to Stiles's passes that he got because he was dancing buddies with the owner and when they get it the music is like a trance, SKRILLEX is playing Nero Promises Stiles thinks but he doesn't really care all he cares about is dancing, and boy is he dancing, hes completely lost himself in the music, he and Isaac are in the dead center of the dance floor DeadMau5 came on and that was it Stiles closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around Isaacs waist and he lost all control over his body, he started gyrating and going with the flow of the crowd, everyone was so close you could feel the heat radiating from everyone around him, some guy larger in build , not wearing a shirt came up behind stiles and started to dance with him and stiles wrapped one arm around his arm and one around Isaacs waste and the three of them were lost in a trance from the flashing green strobe lights flashing neon lights to the music that was playing,he was gone, he lost all about everything, he forgot about his problems he forgot about Derek, about Isaac, about his dad, all there was this, and now, the music and dancing and letting loose, as the beat picked up so did the dancing everyone was jumping and gyrating and moving to the beat Stiles was sweating up a storm and so was the two men surrounding him He could feel the heat from the guy behind him pop a boner and press it against Stiles's ass. Stiles being the flirty man he was and not realizing what he was doing pressed his rear farther against the man and brought the mans face closer to his and whispered into his ear

"Now , is that all you got?" he says then backs away from him and was pulled onto a table and it was just him , alone on the table , moving to the sounds of the techno beat, the rhythm, the music flowing through his veins letting loose , the rhythm pulsing through him, the beat was picking up, and so was Stiles, he took of his vest and threw it somewhere in the crowd not really concerned about it, he then threw his hands onto his chest and started rubbing his hands down his chest around moving his body in a circle and swaying his hips back and forth, right now, right then, Stiles was channeling his inner Britney Spears, He got down on his knees and threw his body backwards in the Britney fashion and just started gyrating right there, the crowd was going wild , he got back up and was just dancing by himself until Jackson, Danny and Isaac hopped up on the platform, and the next thing he knew it was all for them pretty much dry dumping right there on stage for the entire club to see, but Stiles didn't care. Stiles still was lost in the trance of the music, it was like something came over him he didn't think, he just did! And for once it felt good to let loose, to loose the control, to just give in! The beat started to slow down and Stiles came back into his body and all of them got down from the platform and someone handed Stiles his Vest , he threw it back on, and the next thing he knew he was being escorted to the VIP lounge, and there were drinks all sorts, but all of it was alcohol and Stiles was driving so he excused himself and as he was walking to the bar, a strong firm grip took ahold of him and threw him up against the wall.

"I thought i told you to fucking stay home and not go on this date with this little boy toy" Derek says very angrily as his grip against Stiles "Let go of me you big ninny!" Stiles yells as he tries to escape

"No. Mine." Derek says as he slams his lips against Stiles's and neither of them we're backing down, Stiles threw his arms around Dereks neck, his legs around his waist and he thrusted his groin upward into Dereks, and Derek could feel the younger mans boner hit his groin. Derek let out a moan of lust, pure lust.

"MINE" Derek whines as he thrust into Stiles and Bites the boys lower lip.

"Yours" Stiles whines

"Only Yours" Stiles moans as Derek sticks his hand into the boys pants.

The next thing Stiles knew was he was being thrown very roughly on Dereks bed. As he watched the man take his shirt off, stiles sticks his hand underneath the pillow to relax and enjoy the strip tease.

"Hey this is my jock strap!" Stiles exclaims as hes trying not to laugh or be creeped out.

HI THERE! So like i said, smut coming in chapter 4! i have BIG plans for Stiles and Derek, Stiles is still kinda fragile as you can tell he had a relapse and he made himself vomit, but hes getting better, and he wont be better completly for a while, Derek, well hes being the possesive Derek that i love. Uhm... Yea. I had a lot of trouble witht he the formatting for some reason, im goignt to try and fix it so it looks better, but ive spent at least an hour trying to fix it and re fix it, so i finally gave up. BUT thats chaoter 4! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU! SEND REQUESTS! ASK QUESTIONS! dont be shy loves! i love feed back!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5. Why hello there, sorry for taking a while to update, i've been writing this very slowly, i didn't know why but this was a rather hard chapter for me to write, mostly because i read this fic on Ao3 i think it was and i was obsessed with it and i kept reading it over and over, yep.i had to many feelings.

**Previously On Center Stage**:

"Hey this is my jockstrap!" Stiles exclaims as hes trying not to laugh or be creeped out.

"No. Not anymore" Derek replies as he kneels on the bed biting at Stiles's ear.

"Uhm...this is still damp...It has cum..in th..the puch...Derek? I didn't jerk off in this..." Stiles says trying not to moan to loudly, he didn't want Derek to have the benefit of the doubt that this was turning him on.

"I know, its my cum, i jerked off in it, you really should learn how to get your clothes into the hamper, and maybe i won't have to keep taking them. Now put it on." Derek whispers into the younger mans ear as he grasps Stiles's face and pushes his lips against his love interest.

"Your a kinky ricker aren't you!" Stiles says biting the Alphas lower lip, hard, blood started to drip down his lip.

"Fuck, Stiles." Derek yelps as he takes a jump back off the bed and against the wall.

"Stiles gets up, puts on his jock strap and walks slowly over to where Derek is leaning against the wall, he puts on hand on Derek's right hip, and follows suit with his left on the left. He pushes dereks finger away from the spot where the blood is dripping from and stiles sucks, with his mouth the blood coming from Derek's lip.

"Baby!" Stiles whispers into the larger males ear and walks back to the bed, with an extra sway in his hip, so his round bubble butt moves even more so than usual.

"The next thing Stiles knew Derek was on top of him, pinning Stiles down.

"You're going to pay for that!, Don't move" Derek says as he gets up from his bed wearing nothing. He walks down the hall and down the stairs to the kitchen, fills the cup more than half full of large ice cubes, and then pours a bottle of water in it, taking a sip, then walking to the basement, going over to a large metal trunk with his tattoo insignia imprinted all over the box, different sizes, different styles, He reaches in and grabs what he came down here for.

"Why were you gone so long" Stiles whines as he pulls Derek down on top of him wrapping his legs around the man's waist, pleading for entrance into his mouth, but Derek keeps denying him.

" Give me your right arm" Derek barks Stiles does so, he first gives his lover his right arm, which derek thens ties a rope to his wrist, as well as the headboard, followed suit by the left wrist"

"Derek, you need help" Stiles winks as he's tied tight and he can't move at all whatsoever.

"I told you not to move!" Derek yells

"Jeez, sorry" Stiles says nervously.

'You should be!" Derek laughs as he reaches over and grabs the glass of ice water.

"If you dump that on me, i will piss all over your bed and you and i have good aim, it will end up in your eye you ass" Stiles says quite scared.

"Now now princess, i don't want you wet..well from a glass of water that is. Derek then proceeds to take out an ice cube from the cup, and starts to trace Stiles's nipple with it. back and forth from one nipple to the other getting them firm, the cold is making Stiles shiver, sending chills down his back making goose bumps appear on his whole body.

"How's that feel baby" Derek taunts as he bites down hard against Stiles's nipple. The sensation of from the cold nipple, with the warmth of Derek's mouth sends Stiles pleasure through the roof!

_How did i not know that this man is a complete sex god, he hasn't even fucked me or done anything in the bit norm of sex, he's about to make me orgasm, from a fucking ice cube. not sex. an ice cube, well if he wants to play like that, two can play this game Mr. Sourwolf Sex demon. _Derek Slides the ice cube down Stiles's stomach, he circles around his navel and then down the happy trail we go. Derek follows by following the ice cube with his hot, moist tongue suckign up all the liquid from the melting ice cube.

"Stiles, open your legs!" Derek says as he's trying to pry open Stiles's legs.

"No" Stiles giggles back trying not to giggle, trying to keep a straight face.

"I. Said. Open. Them." Derek says in a stern masculine voice.

"Open them yourself, your the big bad wolf with super powers." Stiles yells back quite flirty.

"Fine, have it your way." Derek throws his face into Stiles groin, avoiding his erect penis trying to escape from his pink BIKE jock strap. And bites down on the inside of Stiles thigh. not hard enough to draw blood like the fucker did to Dereks lip, but hard enough that Stiles had yelped and opened his legs to allow Derek entrance.

"Fucker!" Stiles moans as derek circles Stiles's tight virgin hole with the ice cube.

Derek doesn't stop, once one ice cube has fully melted, he grabs another within a nanosecond, no time to waste, not letting his hole warm up, he keeps rubbing ice cubes around his hole, getting it colder and colder, and soon, he sticks not one, not two, but three large ice cubes into his ass. The cold has Stiles in a haze, he's about to lose control when Derek grabs Stiles erect penis hard, not in a pleasurable way.

"You do not cum until i say say, you fucking hear me?" Derek says while his grip gets tighter and tighter around Stiles's shaft, not letting go until he hears what he wants to hear.

"Yes sir" Stiles squeaks while his eyes are sealed shut, his arms tied to the headboard and his legs in dereks grip.

'The cold is overwhelming and Stiles can't handle it, its making him so uncomfortable. the next thing he knew, was a warm, not warm an overwhelming hot sensation pulse through his veins, run through his body, melting the ice cubes taking over from cold to hot instantly, not realizing why until he opened his eyes to see Derek having shoved his entire erection shoved into his ass. Dereks fingers dig into Stiles;s skin as he pumps his sex into Stiles's ass harder, and harder, Stiles's begging for it, for him to go harder, and hit it faster.

Stiles doesn't know what comes over him, or how he did it, but he ripped the ropes from the headboard, sending wood flying all around the room and Stiles throws his vody in an upward position flinging his arms around his lovers neck and grinding his ass into his lovers groin, taking control of the situation, pushing derek onto his back, gripping Stiles's ass. Stiles grding into his man, riding Dereks dick like it was his job, his hands planted onto chest, and just as Derek is about to cum...

Stiles gets up off of Derek

"Now don't cum until i say so" Stiles's whispers as he throws the Jock strap into Derek's face grabs his clothes and walks out the door and down the stairs.

"FUCKER!" Derek screams as he just oozes white thick cream from his now softening penis.

Stiles laughs to himself as he is driving back to his house in nothing, he's literally driving his Jeep bare ass naked, and proud that he left Derek hanging. He knew Derek must have cum before he even left the property, but it mustn't have been as good as if it were to have been into Stiles's hole.

Before Stiles walks into his house, he puts his pants on, laughs at the situation. he walks in.

_I wonder where pops is, hmmm. I guess he's working late again this week. I can't believe what just happened, i lost my virginity to Derek. I can't. i just can't believe it, and the thing he did with the ice cubes,what the hell , who thinks of these things. Maybe i should read up on sex kinks and stuff like that, maybe a cosmo. i saw Allison reading one the other day. Or i could ask Scott what he likes in bed, maybe Derek is similar? Eww waite, i'm not asking Scott what he likes in bed, Allison probably wears a strap on black dildo and fucks Scott. Ewww._

"Hello Stiles." Derek says sensually laying on the bed.

"I should have known you were going to kill me tonight after what i did..." Stiles says bowing his head in shame.

"It was hot baby!" Derek says with a smile on his face grabbing Stiles and throwing him in front of him, both laying on their sides, Derek wrapping his arms around Stiles.

"So...you like to cuddle after sex...: Stiles says teasingly with a smile on his face while Derek shoves his face in the hole between Stiles neck.

"Yes, now go to sleep or i will kill you." Derek says sleepily. After about an hour or so, Stiles was still awake, but awake with an agenda, he made sure Derek was fast asleep before he did what he wanted to do. He yelled and pushed derek, nothing, thinking

_Dam, he may be a werewolf, but he sleeps like bear._ He reaches for his phone, presses camera, and snaps a picture of Stiles and Derek Cuddling, and sends the picture to Scott .

**To: Scott** **SOOOO CALLED IT! DEREK IS SO A CUDDLER! YOU OWE ME FIFTY BUCKS! **

**love Stiles (: **

he puts down his phone and leans back into the man that's now sleeping in his bead and drifts away into his sleep. Stiles had awaken the next morning to an overwhelming smell of cinnamon. He couldn't understand why though, it was just him and ...He reaches behind him but no sourwolf. He walks down the stairs and he sees a very familiar sight, Derek, standing at the counter, with a plate of cinnamon buns smiling at Mr. Stiles.

"Think this time you can eat something?" Derek says with a smile, no mocking, no stern mad sour wolf voice, it was more sincere, loving. Uncharacter...

"Derek." Stiles says in hush tone.

"Please, Stiles, just one, not a whole meal, do it for me?" Derek asks.

"For you" Stiles sighs as he sits at the counter taking one of the very fattening buns, Stile is scared, he can't remember the last time he's eaten anything like this. He doesn't really know how to deal, but he eats it, there's small talk. Stiles asks when they're going to tell the pack, and his dad. Derek just says when the time is right. Stiles isn't really thrilled with that answer, but there isn't really anything Stiles can do to change his mind it seems.

"So what times practice?" Stiles asks sitting at the dinning room table, homework spread across the table. Derek attempting to study, but its not rreally working.

"In an hour, i have to leave soon." Derek replys.

"But don't you always go early? Stiles asks.

"Yea, but not today." Derek says trying to avoid the subject.

"Why." Stiles throws back

"Cause Stiles" Derek says slamming his arm on the table "Dont bring up the topic again, you hear!" Derek yells back.

"You don't have to baby sit me Derek, i'm not a child." Stiles says looking down at his book.

"I just wanted to make sure you eat something, and not throw it up Stiles, you we're already in the hospital once, i can't have you going backwards." Derek says placing his hand on Stiles's.

"I'm going to go to Lydias and work on my audition, i think you should leave" Siles says standing up and grabbing his duffle with his tights and ballet equipment.

"Wait, why do you need to put together an audition? I thought you were done for a while?" Derek says standing up and walking towards his soon to be mate.

"ABA is auditioning for a summer program, 12 people out of like the universe make it, and they called, they want me to audition, and Lydia got an audition as well, we're going to rehearse together. Now if you'll excuse me i have to go.

"I will always support you Stiles, but i don't want you making yourself sick again." Derek says as he kisses Stiles's forehead. "I won't" Stiles says as he locks the door and pulls derek down for a kiss on the lips.

"If you kiss me on the forehead one more time, and not like this, i will rip your dick off, with my teeth" Stiles whispers into Derek's ear as he walks to his Jeep that's parked out on the street.

"Oh my god Stiles, you reek of derek, what'd you take a bath in his clothes or something!" Lydia says plugging her nose with her fingers.

"Well, it may because i just had sex with him" Stiles says nonchalantly. acting as if it were no big deal, but in reality he was jumping up and down inside like a little school girl who just got an A on her spelling test and wa a showoff, wait, thats Lydia. He lets out a giggle at the funny he made inside hsi head.

"You sooo did not have sex with Derek Hale" she runs up to him and grabbing his arms and pulling him down to sit and gossip.

"Oh my god Stiles, how in the world did you manage that! Wait, and how did we not know about this, he's our alpha, and well i never even knew you guys we're hanging out, not hanging out, fucking, you we're fucking Derek Hale. i'm BEYOND JEALOUS right now. " Lydia says laughing. They sit and talk for about an hour, before Stiles stands up and puts his foot down that they have to work on putting together a good audition because he can't deal with not getting into this summer program, because at the end of the year, the company puts out a Ballet, it's used as an audition, and if he gets picked up by any major ballet company, that means GED and moving to wherever he gets a job.

They're dancing for about two hours before they finally stop for the night, Stiles is actually hungry so he walks over to his bag and pulls out a bag of salteens, opens them up and throws one in his mouth while Lydia is looking at him, astonished.

"Do you know how much salt is in those, do you know how many carbs are in that , oh my god Stiles, i can't believe you're eating those, you can't get fat! Derek doesn't want a fat boyfriend, go upstairs and have a banana or something, god i can't believe you just ate like 4 of those. Your lucky you have me." Lydia says shutting off the studio lights.

_I can't get fat, but i can't not eat, i , i, i just can't deal with this, why did Lydia have to say that to me, they're fucking Salteens, thats it, it was a cracker, i mean, its not like i'm going to get fat from a few saltines. _

_**Sties, ( his inner self says) yeah maybe a few crackers now won't make you fat, but just wait, a few here a few there, and if you eat another cinnamon bun, well we all know its going to go straight to your ass, and well, nobody likes a fatass, especially not ABA. They'll laugh you out of the room. no professional ABA dancer is fat. You have to be perfect, Perfect Stiles, why can't you just give in, Perfection is what you need, what you need to strive for, so what you ended up in the hospital, that was all Dereks fault, he's the one that made you overthink what was happening and get stressed out to the point where you gave yourself away, you just have to be more careful, you have to be the best Stiles, do you think your father wants a failure? The money he's put into your training, don't make him disappointed now, you're the one that killed his wife, how else could you disappoint him? Haha, well just get your shit together. **_

_Perfection. Thats what i need, thats the answer, if i'm perfect, Derek will not want to lose me, my dad, he will finally be proud of me, me Stiles, his son, not the disappointment loner that he thinks that i am. I can do this. Perfection. My new Goal. _

_Okay, so that took me a while, i dont know if i even like this chapter. i re wrote it more than 4 times, i lost track, the smut i dont even know if any good, i have no clue, so many mixed feelings about this chapter, PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! love y'all_


	6. Chapter 6

Helllo there fellow readers. Sorry this chapter has taken so long, its hopefully going to be long, and it's taken awhile to write, i didn't know where i wanted to take Stiles from where i had left off, and i think i know that i want him to go and how Mr. Sourwolf will play in. so yea, leave reviews or PM me if you please, i love to hear feedback, and if i don't get some soon, you never know maybe i'll stop?

Chapter 6  
"Can I speak with Mr. Stiles Stilinski please?" comes an unknown voice on the house phone, which is weird because, normally everyone just texts or they use their cell phones Mr. Stilinski thinks as he says

"A moment please, let me get him"  
Mr. Stilinski figures it out, he knows who is on the phone, its the woman from ABA program, right now is the moment of truth, we find out right now if he got into the ABA summer program.

"Stiles, its ABA!" His father whispers as he hold the bottom of the phone and hands it to his son.

"Hello, this is Stiles" Stiles talks into the phone.

"Yes, Mr. Stilinski, hello there this is Ms. Simone, i'd like to congratulate you on your acceptance into the summer program, now we have on record that you have had a history of an eating disorder...Is that correct?"

"Yes Ms. Simone, i have had a history of an eating disorder, but i see a therapist and i have not been anorexic for six months, i had one slip up about two weeks after my first session, but this is something that i've been working on. And will not be a problem any longer."

"Okay Mr. Stilinski, I have to ask, its protocol and we take our students health very seriously. You should receive an e-mail in the next day or so entailing all about the program and what you will need when you travel to New York. See you in June Stiles."

"DAD I GOT IN! OH MY GOSH, I GOT IN I FREAKING GOT IN! I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!" Stiles is screaming at the top of his lungs!

Its been a week sin ei found out about the summer program and i have yet to tell Derek, i have yet to tell the person i am falling in love with that i won't be home..wait..did i just say falling in love with..oh my..wait...i so am falling for him. oh my god i haven't even thought about that! Do i tell him? NO! Oh god why would i do that, i don't want him running for the hills. He probably already will run for the hills when i tell him i'm leaving for three months, and i might not be even coming back... do i tell him or just leave and be gone one day and have left a note on my bed saying " got into ABA summer program...YAY ME!... bye..." No. Bad. He would come and kill me. But he's already going to kill me because i'm leaving my sourwolf. God why , why did i say yes before talking to him. I didn't even think about how this would effect him. God this is stupid, why can't i just be like hi. Babe. So i'm leaving June 2nd and i won't be home until August. And i might not even come home, i might stay with the company and get a tutor in New York! Yay? god this is harder than i thought. Maybe i'll give him a card! YES A CARD! omg i'm sold. No. he would laugh at me. Blarghhh.

"What are you thinking about" Comes a low toned voice

"You." Stiles says knowing exactly who it is.  
Sourwolf.

"Me? Why me? I thought we we're doing good." Derek say getting nervous. Anxious even

"I got into the ABA summer program." Stiles says not even moving , he's still lying down on his bed, his head looking towards the ceiling.

"Is that a bad thing? I thought that's what we wanted?"  
He just said we. "WE" he said we wanted. He said it. we're a we. This is real.

"Yea, but I didn't know if you would be okay with it and all, i just wanted to make sure we would be okay, these past few months have been the best for me and i don't want this, i mean, i don't want us to end, I don't, scratch that, i can't let this end Dere, i need you."

"Mine"

Derek says as he pulls Stiles into a tight hold and he kisses Stiles on the lips. At first, it was sweet, it was kind and gentle, but then Stiles, well being Stiles, pushes his groin into Derek's and therefore Derek Feels Stiles's erection pressing up against his groin..

"My dad won't be home until tomorrow morning" Stiles whispers into his lover's ear as he bites the top of it.

"Don't start something you can finish Stiles" Derek says pushing his shirt up and over his head.  
Stiles throws down the covers to reveal that he is wearing nothing but Derek's shirt and as he spreads his legs apart, the shirt rises and Derek can see everything e wants to, Stiles's erection pointing up towards the sky, his patch of freshly trimmed pubic hair, Stiles giving Derek this devilish grin.

"Who? Me?" Stiles says with a hint of sarcasm , but mostly humor coming through.  
Derek lays down on top of him, pressing his now growing erection to Stiles hard, throbbing erection dripping pre cum.

"Dere" Stiles lets out a whimper as he throws his legs around Dereks waist and Derek pushes his lips down on top of his mates, strong, firm, taking control, letting Stiles know who is boss, who owns who. Stiles has no complaints, he rather enjoys letting him lead.

"I love that you smell like me" Derek moans as he is kissing every inch of his lovers body, pushing his shirt off of him.

"Mine" Derek groans as he bites down on Stiles's nipple.

"Only yours" Stiles yells out pulling Dereks hair pulling him up so he can kiss his lips.

"I can't handle foreplay Dere, i can't i've been avoiding you for the past week, and i can't handle this i'm going to blow everywhere if you keep on with with this, i need you,i need all of you inside me, please, don't tease me, i need this. i need you" Stiles says as he looks into Derek's eyes, his mates hair entwined between his fingers, legs around his waist arching his back to allow better entrance for his lover.

"Please" Stiles whines as he arches his back even higher.

"What did you say? I couldn't hear you?" Derek teases as he slips his hard, erection into his mate's body.

"I missed this" Stiles yelps as Derek thrust his entire way in, in one shot, no warning, no preparation, no nothing, one thrust and he was in.

Stiles thought that this was going to be rough and hot, like the usual, but it wasn't, surprisingly, Derek, was tender and adorable, he laughed when Stiles tried to be sexy. And played with Stiles's hair, caresed his hips, and tickled Stiles as he kissed his lovers body, from his lips on his face, to the more sensitive lips down south. It wasn't something that Stiles had expected, but it most definitely wasn't something he was going to complain about.

"That was nice" Stiles said with his head leaning on Derek's chest, nuzzling his chin into Deres chest hair.

"I like this" Stiles says looking up to Derek who is still rubbing his right hand up and down his mates body, his left underneath pulling Stiles closer to him.

"What, the afterglow?" Derek says not flinching.

"No, your chest hair silly, i like my man, well, manly, why did you shave? Wax, oh my god, you got your chest waxed! You so totally did!" Stiles says laughing but still not really moving.

"Yes, i did get my chest waxed Stiles, and well my ex liked me more , well she wasn't a fan of the hair. So I always had it waxed, I didn't know you like it, i'll cancel my next appointment." Derek says kissing Stiles forehead.

"I mean you can keep it nice and tidy, but i don't want a wolf in the bed, now that would just be disgusting, no class" Stiles says with a very sassy attitude.

"No, that would be just wrong." Derek plays along.

_I wonder what he's thinking, i mean i wonder what he thinks about me leaving, does he even care, am i just someone he can screw for the meantime, just to get his rocks off, what am i to him. he did say we. but i mean he's a guy, it wouldn't be unheard of a guy saying what someone else wanted to hear to get into their pants. And he keeps getting into mine. Everyone says Derek, haha he doesn't rust or care about anyone other than Derek, don't trust him Stiles. What if i do trust him, I more than trust him, i'm falling in love with him. He's sleeping with me right now, and he doesn't look like a narcissistic ass, he looks like someone who needs to be loved. Someone who needs to be trusted. To be given a break in life, to see that love happens. I want to be the one to do that, i want to lay here and cuddle, with underneath me, talking, and watching stupid movies that I absolutely hate, but Derek loves and can't stop watching. I used to be in love with the idea of love, but right now, I think i love him. And that time he bit me, oh god, that was so hot. I want that to happen again and again. And what happened tonight, he wasn't mean and angry or Mr. Sourwolf, he was loveable_.

"Will you stop overthinking this Stiles, just sleep" Derek says turning over forcing stiles to do so as well." Now in the spooning position.  
Its around 6:30 Stiles has awakened by mother nature, or as he likes to call it, well hes not sure what he calls it but he has to go pee, and it happens every morning. He was walking back from the bathroom and about to get into bed when he hears "strip" b Chris Brown.

"how originale Dere" Stiles thinks as he bends down and into his mates pockets grabs the phone, takes a glance and then throws it at Derek.

"Derek, someone called Chris is calling you, and can you please get a new ringtone. How do you still listen to that man after he beat Rihanna. That man is an asss!" Stile says slipping into bed.

"Ughhhhh" Derek says as he presses ignore. "Can you come back into bed please, i don't wanna get up yet." Derek says holding his arm out for Stiles to slip underneath.

"Who's Chris Derek?" Stiles says as he pulls the covers back over the two of them.

"My Ex" Derek says as it was nothing.

"Uhm...You didn't tell me you kept in touch with her?" Stiles says back

"We aren't all that close but she's passing through and i said we could grab starbucks and chat, catch up and all. Its not a big deal Stiles, calm down. and get back over here." Derek says as Stiles is sitting up on the other side of the bed.

"Were you going to tell me Derek?"

"Last night was the first time you talked to me in over a week Stiles, and when we did talk, you wanted sex. When was i supposed to bring it up, oh by the way, as i'm thrusting my dick into you " Babe, my ex is stopping in town to catch up." no Stiles stop it. Grow up"

"Im just going to go have some breakfast, you keep sleeping" Stiles says as he throws on a pair of sweatpants and Dereks discarded v-neck. A tad big, but it would work to go sit downstairs and have some coffee.

"You are really showing your age Stiles" Derek throws out there as he rolls over grabbing Stiles's pillow.

"Thanks Dere." Stiles said as he closed the door.

Well i guess that answered my question about if he was in love. I would say that it was a negative. How could he not care if he was getting together to "catch up" with Chris, his ex. God why didn't he say anything. He could have after we had sex, its not like we fucked adn then went right to sleep, we talked for like hours. and he didn't even think to bring it up. And the reference to my age, what the fuck, i'm only 17. What does he expect? I'm jealous. So what! This is ridiculous. I'm going to go get breakfast. Fuck this. Why did he have to be such a douche.  
Stiles grabbed his keys off of the kitchen counter and headed out to the local diner. He wanted bacon. And lots of it.  
As he pulled into the parking lot of the Diner who else would he see, none other than Jackson. He expected to see Lydia with him, but it was Danny.  
They didn't see him when he walked in or when he sat down, he ordered two poached eggs with a side of bacon, scratch that, a side of extra bacon, extra crispy. He got his food and started to munch away when he got a text from Derek.

"Can you bring me up some breakfast, i'm hungry babe. I miss you, come back to bed. And why are you being so quiet down there, you know i can sleep through anything! -D"

"I'm not at home Dere, i'm at the diner, i wanted bacon." Stiles replied.

"What the fuck Stiles, why didn't you wake me, i would have gone with you!"

"I didn't want to talk to you"

"Why are you doing this Stiles, we're finally back together and then you pull this drama queen stunt!"

"This could have been avoided if you just told me that Chris was stopping in. Whatever Derek. Just lock up the house when you leave."

"Dick"

One word, "Dick" thats what he has to say to me? What the fuck. When do i get to be happy for more than a night.

"Have enough bacon Stiles?" came a voice all too familiar.

"Huh?" Stiles says throwing his phone across the table.

"Oh, Sorry Jackson, hi Danny. and , no, i can never have enough bacon." Stiles says laughingly.

"Well, you don't wanna get fat so don't eat to much, ts greasy." Jackson says as he walks away.

"Enjoy your bacon Stiles , is everything alright? You look kind of down."

"Yea, well the world is always against me my friend."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Danny asks sincerely.  
...

"Or a friend to sit awkwardly with?" Danny says with a little grin on his face.

"That would be nice." Stiles answers.

More coffee boys? The waitress asks as shes holding a pot of freshly made coffee.

They casually talk and banter back and forth, laughing quietly and just well, being mates.

"Danny boy, i think it would be best if you we're to get up and go home." Comes a dark voice Stiles smiles immediately.

"Uhm, Hi Derek, and excuse me, but i was having a conversation with my friend." Danny says looking at Derek questionably.

"I will knock the daylights out of you if you don't move. I need to talk to Stiles...On second thought, Stiles lets go.

"Sorry mate, i have to go" Stiles says throwing down some paper on the table standing up going to grab Dereks hand as they were walking to the door but suddenly felt a stab in the back.

"Baby, i missed you!" came this whiny irritating voice, a girl, Blonde, big boobs, ugly red lipstick that didn't match her skin tone , now kissing his boyfriend.

"Chris, you can't just do that anymore, you broke up with me." Derek exclaims pushing her off of him.

"Well, i'm back college wasn't all that great in Connecticut, so HELLO COMMUNITY COLLEGE! Oh and when are you going to shave, your face feels gross, and you know how i like you clean shaven.

"Hi, I'm Stiles, taking from your overall tackiness from the skank clothing and rather whorish lip color you chose to wear today, you must be Chris!"

"Ugh, Derek are you going to let this boy talk about your girlfriend like that!" Chris whins

"Chris, this is Stiles, my...uhm, my. Boyfriend." Derek says grabbing Stiles's hand.

HI i know its been forever and a day. but i honestly don't know what i just wrote. honestly i just yea. but i have started the next chapter! and i know this wasn't as long as i hoped but idk, it felt right to end there. but yea, Meet Chris. She's kind of a bitch. But i love me a Jealous Stiles. PLEASE GIVE REVIEWS! i need some feed back to keep posting. please. PM me or just leave a review. tell me what you think. love ya _SR


	7. Chapter 7

Sometime when you meet someone ex, you want to show off that you are now with the person that they had broken up with, but when she broke your boyfriends heart and never got his closure you worry right? She has been back in the picture for about a week and I'm nervous, no, not nervous, I'm fucking terrified. He was with her the other day, I was at school and I went to meet him during our free period and I had heard that he never even came to school. I later found out from Jackson that he was with Chris; they had gone for a hike and all this nonsense, like what? I am your boyfriend but for the past week all you've been doing is hanging out with you're ex girlfriend who you've introduced me as your boyfriend, not a friend. Honestly why are you being a douche, maybe I should grow up and act a little more mature, but bitch he's mine and you don't what is Stile's , no touchy bitch. You keep you dirty little paws off of him. I will cut the bitch. Just everything has me wondering, why is he with her so much this week. Even when he was with me last night he was texting her to make plans, I asked him and he said it wasn't anything to worry about and she would be leaving soon and its just catching up with an old friend. But how am I not supposed to be worried? They have so much history, she was his first love, I mean it was only like a year or so ago that they broke up, she broke his heart and, closure is such a big thing, and she just stomped on his heart, and what if he's falling for her again, what if I'm losing him. Maybe I already did. Its so easy to slip into old habits, and believe me, I know how easy it is. I have an eating disorder and its not an easy thing to kick, I still see my therapist 2 times a week, and its getting easier, but its hard. Especially now, because what if Derek thinks im getting fat, he's never seen me like this, I mean I am gaining muscle as well, but I have to do this, its not healthy to not eat, and I now understand that, but some days its not easy to think like that some days I wake up and I wont eat anything at all and then id feel so bad about it id do is lay in bed and feel depressed, and that happened yesterday and when I called Derek to come over his phone went straight to voicemail and well, me being me, you wonder about why that happened. Why is he drifting away? Is he doing it on purpose? Did I do something wrong? Is it me? Did I come on to strong? Does he regret me? Is he remembering why he was in love with her? I fear this, if I lose him I, I… I just I don't know. I need him. I cant do this without him. I can't go on without him. This is why I never let anyone in. This is why you don't love, never fall in love I used to tell myself, just concentrate on ballet. And now here I am, lying in bed on a Friday night wondering where my relationship stands. And here I am cuddling a fucking pillow and not my boyfriend. I'm laying here with tears filling my eyes and I can't do anything to stop those tears. I'm a fucking mess, but he doesn't care He's with Chris. He's happy. And it's not me that's making him happy. And the worst part about it is that, all I want to do is talk to him. I want to snuggle up in his arms and bury my head in his chest and let his strong grip smother me, to feel that protection, his warmth. Not only from his body, but from his heart, the heart that I thought was in love with me. The heart that I am now being betrayed by. The heart I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This is why love is shit; this is why you don't fall in love. This is why you build up those walls and don't allow anyone in. Those walls protect you from being hurt. Those walls are what allow you to move forward in life without having to be hurt, without being discouraged. I don't want to ever feel like this ever again. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to. I cant. It's not something that I want to feel like. Its not like I'm hurt or , its more deep that being betrayed or whatever its like, pain. Every bone in my body aches when I think about him with her. He told me it's him and me against everyone else. He lied to me. But it hurts to let go.

**To: Stiles **

**From: Dere **

Hey, I know I haven't been around a lot lately , but I really need to talk to you.

**To: Dere **

**From: Stiles **

I really don't want to see or talk to you.

**To: Stiles **

**From: Dere **

C'mon don't be like that. I want to see you.

**To: Dere**

**From: Stiles**

Well that's nice for you isn't it. I've been waiting for you, and you're out of time.

**To: Stiles**

**From: Dere**

Are you fucking kidding me? Grow up Stiles; I want to see MY boyfriend. Why are you being like this? Stop acting like a little kid. I want to see you Stiles.

**To: Dere**

**From: Stiles**

"Stop acting like a little kid" ? Are you for real right now? Are you actually being like this? Derek, you have been attached to this stupid bimbos hip ever since she got here. How do you think that that makes me feel? You've been following her like a little puppy dog! (pun intended) You can go fuck yourself Derek. Chris is waiting for you.

"You know if you didn't want to see me you should have gotten off your lazy fucking ass and lock your window Stiles"

"Derek, just leave me alone and go, I don't want to see you. What don't you get? Are you that stupid?"

"Stiles, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like such a child?"

"Derek, I am not acting like a child I'm acting like a pissed off ex-boyfriend."

"Why did you just say ex"

"Wait, so after all this time where we haven't hung out or I haven't even see you in like 2 weeks I'm going to welcome you back with open arms? You haven't even missed me Derek!"

"Take that back Stiles, you don't mean that!"

Derek pushes Stiles up against a wall, gripping his tank with both hands tightly resting his head on Stile's chest.

"Take that back, don't say that Stiles, I need you!"

"Don't fucking touch me you ass!"

Stiles spat out pushing Derek away from him.

"What did Chris leave now and forget about little old you? Did she get bored again and realize you weren't worth hanging around for? Did she and I have the same realization?"

"TAKE THAT BACK! DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T LET ME GO!"

"Derek, you left me! You haven't called or texted, everyone has seen you around with Chris. Why are you even trying to ignore it? Just man up to it."

"It was a mistake, I needed closure, and I cant take that back, I'm not sorry that I was with her all this time, but I told you it wasn't anything to worry about. It was just two old friends catching up. You have to believe me."

"Fuck. You. "

"Don't say that Stiles"

"I AM IN PAIN YOU FUCK! I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOU. I AM IN PAIN AND YOU PUT ME HERE. YOU PUT ME IN THIS POSITION. YOU ARE THE REASON I CANT LEAVE MY BED. AND WORST OF ALL, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU WHEN IM LIKE THIS. I KEEP THINKING I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HIM. AND I CAN'T. YOU CHEATED. You broke our trust. You did this. Now you have to live with it Derek.

"Don't say that, you don't mean it. Do not lie to m Stiles."

"You cheated Derek. You. Cheated. On. Me."

"I did no such thing"

"Really? Then why are you getting so defensive Derek? Why? "

"Because you wont let me touch you, and your mine. And I'm getting nervous"

"I'm not yours anymore Derek, you can leave, this isn't going to go anywhere"

"Stop saying that. You're over reacting, calm down so we can talk about this like normal people."

"I am in no way over reacting, you haven't paid any attention to me whatsoever in like what almost three weeks? Derek, you have completely ignored our relationship and me. I'm done. Were done. Finite. Asta LA vista relationship."

"I'm not giving up on you. On us. We were meant for each other"

Derek walks away from Stiles. Derek walked away from his man. His love. He wasn't walking away by choice; he was walking away to give him time. To give him the space that he wanted.

Stiles POV.

What did I just do? Why did I let him walk away, why did I say those things. Oh my god. No. BAD STILES. NAUGHTY STILES. I can't believe I just did that. I cant , no, no , no stop it . Oh my gosh, why did I do that, why on earth is this happening. I made this so much worse, I completely wrecked this, I ruined the only thing that was good in my life.

Stiles runs down the stairs hopefully to catch Derek getting in the car or something but when he got to the front door he , well he got a different kind of surprise.

"Well Well Well. Look who we have here"

"Chris I don't have time for this can you move please?"

"Im just here because I wanted to say thank you. Thank you oh so much. You did everything that I thought you would, my plan worked out perfectly. Like honestly , this couldn't be planned out even more perfectly, to all those movies and soap operas with this whole plotting shit, I mean its not even original or whatever , but yet you still played right into my trap. You gave me him back on a gold platter. I already got a text from him saying he needs to "vent" what a baby you've turned him into, like what!? Do you talk about your feelings and share how you feel? Really… What a bunch of silly little queers. I need a man. And well, seeing as how much of a sponge he is, it shouldn't be that hard. You made this so easy. A few weeks of just being friends and you get all jealous and angst, you really love to show your age don't you honey? Its so cute, how jealous you got. I wasn't expecting that at all, so props to you little one."

" He's mine bitch. You don't touch what's mine."

"Really sweaty? You just ended your relationship. SO therefore he's no ones at the moment, well, for now. He'll be mine soon." She gives a little evil smirk.

"I can get him back faster than you can even imagine, "honey" so now you can take your ugly as ratchet face, fake boobs that well, whoever did you boobs did an awful job, they're far to close to your neck, and well, to big for your body, you look like a stupid slut…Oh wait… You are one. Whoops. Not sorry. So now if you'll move your last season designer knockoffs out of the way. I have a man to get back."


	8. Authors Note

Hello there strangers, SR here! sorry it has been so long since I've last posted, school has been quite hectic as well as work and minting somewhat of a social life, but do not fear, i will be posting a new chapter by the end of the weekend! I have already started, but just a for warning, i am going to take a step back and make it less soap operay ( i don't think that that is even a word, but lets just go with it) and yes my writing style is abnormal, i tent to write as if i were talking, and if you don't care for it, i apologize and I'm sure there are other fics that you will find interesting. I am going to focus more on Stiles and how he is dealing with his life. So yea, i won't forget about Chris, she's still going to play a factor, but i need to real it back. I reread the last few chapters and well, i was less than satisfied. Ill keep them up, but i will defiantly be taking a step back. and if anyone wants to beta, i would love you forever. just let me no, Private message me and well take it from there.


	9. Chapter 9

HI GUYS! So I know its been like forever and a day that I haven't posted, but well, I'm working on a new story, it's a one shot, its long. You'll love it! But I also had to re-evaluate this story. Which I previously stated in my Authors note. So yea, here is chapter 8. And from now on, every chapter will have a title. SO PLEASE GIVE REVIEWS! I love hearing what all of you think, please, PM me and tell me what you think if you don't to review publicly, I love to hear your input especially when you give feedback. It makes everything worthwhile. SO I hope you enjoy this chapter, its over 3,000 words. Your welcome! (: Enjoy loves!

Renaissance

Sometimes when you lose everything that had ever meant something to you is the best place to begin again. To start over, to rebuild what once was. Maybe Chris coming back into Derek's life was a blessing in disguise, yes I am in love with him, but its nothing that I want to devote my life to, I don't want to have to "win" him over, its not who I am, and not what I want to do. Just a few months ago I was in the hospital dealing with an eating disorder that almost took my life. And then right after that I threw myself at him, when in reality maybe I should have taken some time to figure out what would be best for me, to figure out what direction I wanted to point my life in. I see that now, but I hope its not to late.

Its been a few weeks since I last saw Derek and Chris, the last time I actually saw Chris was when I told her that I wasn't going to give Derek up without a fight. But I got all the way to his house, parked in his driveway. I thought to myself, if I were to get out of my jeep and walk into his house, to go right back to what I know, and the only love that I have ever known, how would that make me feel? Would I be okay with doing that? Does that still make me, who I am? Am I still Stiles? Because right now, I look at myself in the mirror and I don't know who is staring back at me, I see a too skinny kid with bags under his eyes the size of baseballs, I haven't been eating correctly since I screwed things up with Derek, and to be honest, I don't miss him. I miss me more. I miss who I used to be, yes I wasn't eating at all, but at least I was happy, I wish I could go back to then, go back to when I didn't need someone to depend on. I need to start putting me first, and I feel like a broken record for saying that, but its true.

To: Chris

Hey Chris, its Stiles, do you think we could meet up soon and have a chat?

To Stiles:

Where & when?

To: Chris

Meet me at Starbucks at 2:00?

To: Stiles

See you then.

It was time for me to put my big boy pants on and deal with what was going on. For me to tell Chris that this isn't what I am like, that this isn't who I am. It's time for me to move on with my life.

Chris:

"Why did you want to meet with me Stiles? The last time that I saw you, you basically told me to go die in a ditch and to stay away from your boyfriend."

Stiles:

" I need to apologize. This isn't who I am Chris, this boy obsessed diva, this isn't me! This isn't whom I used to be, I used to be the loner kid who just went to school to go and get my high school diploma and then get out, and move to New York and get a principles spot in the ABA, that is who I was. And right now, who I am trying to get back to. This me, this, this isn't who I am. This is who I do not wish to be anymore. And I needed to apologize to you, because how I treated you was not right, even if you did try and take Derek back, I should have been mad at Derek, not you. All you did was be you, and he was hooked. "

Chris:

'Thank you, but you do not have to apologize Stiles. Everyone loses their mind over things like this."  
Stiles:

"I know, but I wanted you to know, I f you want to begin a relationship with Derek, I am not going to get in your way. I leave for New York on Saturday, I want to get settled in before the summer program starts and I wish to find a job. It's about time I start acting like an adult."

Chris:

"Stiles, you do know that Derek is in love with YOU, not me?"

Stiles:

"That's not what this is about, yes I am still in love with Derek, but I think I always will be, he was my first love, he helped me find who I aspire to be."

Chris:

"School doesn't end for another month Stiles, I get that this summer program is like a big deal and all, but is it worth not finishing your junior year?"

Stiles:

"I already took and passed my finals, I will be a senior next year in the fall when I return. I talked to my teachers and told them what was going on and they were more than happy to help."

Chris:

"I may not know you all that well Stiles, but I cant help but say that I am proud of you, you are acting like a grown up, you took charge of your life and are moving forward, and that my friend, that is to be applauded. But I have to ask. Does Derek know you leave in two days?"

Stiles:

"No. And I wish to keep it that way please. I wont be leaving without explaining everything, so don't worry about that, I sent him a letter, he should be getting it early next week. I have everything written down, I'm better at writing my feelings than actually speaking them."

Chris:

"I'll keep you secret Stiles, I just wish you would talk to him in person."

Never fear rejection. Never fear the loss of who you once were because you can always move forward and make a better you. Two months ago I left an old me behind. A me who lost his way in the hopes of finding love. I was in love with the idea of love. I was in love with a man who never took me out on dates. Barely anyone knew who I was to him. My dad knew and a few friends. Not one of his friends knew who I was. His friends knew me as his math chemistry lab partner/ math tutor. They knew me as the dorky ballerina that fawned over this senior varsity hockey captain who led his team to victory this year, they won state championships and I was there, cheering on my man, but at the end of the game I didn't get to run up to him and throw myself at him, with his arms raped around me with his excitement. I met him in the parking lot in my car. Waiting for twenty minutes after everyone had already left. He was inside celebrating with his team while I waited. I lost myself in the process of trying to gain him. I stopped practicing because when I wasn't with him, I was so depressed that all I did was sleep. And when I didn't sleep I would just lay in bed wishing he were there. He went out at night and partied with his friends, he got drunk and then came back to my house, he would fuck me, not make love, we stopped making love a while before. He would fuck me without a condom and he would have me on my stomach, and I think he did that so he wouldn't have to see my face. The look of disappointment in my eyes when he would be so rough it hurt and tears poured out of my eyes. Once they started they didn't stop, and neither did he. At first he when he began to put his sweaty boxers in my mouth to gag me, I found it hot and exciting and very kinky. But now, its just another way for him to get off, so he cant hear me crying, so no one can hear me crying. I lost who I was and what I stood for in life. I lost who I was to the point where I was going to chase him, fight over him with his ex. Who was I? How did I get in so deep? I'm laying in my bed in New York, my alarm had just went off and I have been up for at least an hour going over all of this, when I got here, all I did was prepare for my summer program, my apt , well loft is big enough to allow me to work out and get some practice time in, I have been getting back into shape, I have been eating healthier, there is this cute little farmers market up the road that I shop at frequently. Lots of fruits and veggies! Every day becomes easier and easier. And you think that it wouldn't, I just packed up and left Beacon Falls to start over, everyone ket saying how hard it is to make it in the big city. Well you know what? Determination. Determination is what is getting me through this, I came here with a plan, I came here, got y loft, yes its in Brooklyn and I have to take a 45 minute train to Manhattan and to work, but I make it work. Between class and work I do not really have all that much downtime so it's easy for me to stay occupied with things to do. I work at H&M (the employee discount is AMAZING, and I get to dress up for work, to day I wore acid washed ripped cut offs, a AC/DC baby tank and black leather studded combat boots with a red bandana for a head band, honestly I love my job.

Its Tuesday morning and I have class at noon; I am lying in bed thinking about how everything is going to work out. Class till 3 work at 5 till 12 and then I get to go home. I live such an exciting life don't I? But for me, its what I need, no time for anything but me. I have been seeing the company's nutritionist, at first the company made me see him because of my background, but now I see him weekly on my account. I like going to see him and showing him my food journal and talking about everything and anything. Danny has made it easier to be here. He really has helped me put my nutrition and my body's health into focus. He really got me to believe that I am not fat, that I have the body that I need for what I am doing and that if I keep eating healthy I will be fine. It is by no means easy to look in the mirror and say I love my body, I love myself, todays going to be a good day, I know that that isn't real at the moment, I sound like a robot saying that even to myself but its true, its been two months and I have finally started making some headway. What if I were to stay in New York? What if I were to finish my senior year here and keep my job at H&M?

I am now a resident of Brooklyn New York. I am apart of the ABA Company; I have a tutor that I meet with three times a week. I got the position. I wasn't expecting to get it, and honestly I don't think the company was either. When I met with them they told me straight up, we have never done this before, we brought you here to see how much potential you have and if we could mold you this summer for next year and then we would see about a position in the company. But because of the dramatic turn around and my determination they said that the school would gladly pay for my tutoring if I were to be apart of the company. I accepted there on the spot without even conversing with poppa Stilinski, I knew this is what I needed right now and my work would be paying off. I told them straight up though that I had a job and I had to keep it if I were to keep living in the city, they said they weren't thrilled but they were okay with it as long as I managed my studies, work and ballet, and of course to them and myself, ballet was number one.

For once in my life everything was going according to plan. And it is not all that often that I can say that. Usually gods like, oh looks Stiles is having it a little to easy, lets fix that.

***Knock knock knock** *

"What the fuck…"

Honestly, who in the world can that be, its fucking 8 in the morning, why is there someone knocking on my door. I am not okay with this, I am trying to sleep, even though I've been up forever just thinking about my life and all, but I was comfy in my bed, all cozy with my body pillow and blankets, I am not about this life at all.

Knock Knock Knock

"OKAY I GET IT YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE!"

Knock

"What the fuck man.."

Stiles whips the door open, very hastily and irritated, as the door opens his face goes blank.

"Still as charming as ever Stiles aren't you?" The man says with a small smirk on his face.

"What are you doing here?"

"You left, you left for the summer, 3 months. You were gone for three months, and then I come to find out that you moved. You have been gone 5 months. It is been almost half a year Stiles. I haven't seen or talked to you in half a year."

Stiles replies

"I sent you a letter." He turns his head away staring blankly at the floor, all emotion draining from his face, tears starting to gather on his eyelashes. He can't look at his face, he wont look into his eyes, his eyes that are now glaring red.

"You sent me one letter. You sent me one letter telling me how you love me and that you needed space. I Gave you space" He says grabbing Stiles by the arms "I left you alone for three months, I waited for you for three months, I thought about your touch for three months, I thought about how you look at me as we lay in my bed with your head on my chest while you always played with my chest hair. I thought about those light pink plump lips." He says brushing his thumb across Stile's lip as he peers into the taller mans eyes.

"I thought about you for three months non stop. It hurt every time you would call Scott and I would be sitting next to hi and you would talk about how great New York was, and how amazing this Guy named Danny was. Do you know how much that hurt me Stiles? DO YOU UNDERSTAND how whenever you said his name all I could see is your goofy little smile every time you said his name and how you used to smile like that when you said my own. I died a little bit every time you said his name and every time you would call someone else other than me. You called Lydia and told her all about how you work at H&M and how your on you way to being a manager and how you always get hit on by guys and girls saying hwo hot you are and how they love how you dress, and she helps you with your schoolwork. I used to be the one that got to walk around with you and know that people were always staring and jealous of you, knowing the glare I gave each and every one of them that you were mi.."

Stiles quickly interrupted.

"Yours? YOURS? YOU HID ME AWAW FROM EVERYONE DEREK! You never allowed me to be anywhere near you at school, and at your hockey games, if I cheered too loud for you, I would get scolded back in the car on the way to your house, where we did barely anything else other than have sex. You make it sound like we had a relationship, yes we cuddled a lot and I believe me, resting my head on your chest was one of my favorite pass times, but you never took me out. You never said I was your boyfriend, except for when you introduced me to Chris, and well we saw what happened there, you shoved your face so far up her ass you forgot about me. I lost myself when we were together Derek, I allowed myself to become this weak naïve guy who let you walk all over me. I couldn't even look in the mirror anymore without being absolutely disgusted with who I hated myself Derek. I was so in love with you that I allowed myself to overlooked everything that was gong on. The fact that I never saw Lydia anymore, how I completely ignored her. How I used Isaac, how I ..God I cant believe I did that to him. Derek I used him to make you jealous. Do you know what that did to me? Oh and when you weren't with me, do you want to know what I did to pass the time? I lay in my bed crying about how much I hated myself. I cried myself to sleep every night that you were out at some party that you wouldn't allow me to go because you couldn't handle me being out where I could get hit on or might drink to much and kiss someone that wasn't you. Remember last year, the night you won the State Championships and you went to Scotts for the celebratory party and you told me that you asked me not to go because it would hurt too much? Do you remember how you slept with Allison that night, and how you have never to this day told me that you did that? How not only you cheated on me, but you went and slept with your friend's girlfriend all in the same night. And then she told Lydia and then Lydia told me. How I then told myself that I would never let you hurt me again. And whoops I lied to myself again because that very same night you showed up in my room and you fucked me and I cried while you did so, but you shoved your jockstrap in my mouth so I wouldn't be so loud that my dad would hear us. Derek I lost myself."

"Stiles, I know I was not the boyfriend of the year. But when I found out you weren't coming back to Beacon Falls, I thought I would die, I couldn't breath. Stiles, I need this to work out, I need you to take me back, Please Stiles. Day one. Lets start at day one Lets start over."

"When do you leave to go back home?" Stiles asks

"I don't. I go to NYU. I have been here since September, I have gone to H&M everyday hoping to run into you. Finally some woman named Alicia asked me why I was coming everyday and I told her, and she told me where you lived."

"What if you were some crazy stalker that wanted to kill me! Alicia could have gotten me killed! God my boss is so stupid."

"Stiles Stilinski, would you like to accompany me to dinner tonight? My treat."


End file.
